In some parts of the world, women and children are welcomed at the masjid and there isn't even a question of whether a masjid has a ladies section or accomodates children. In my part of the world, however, the addition of ladies sections to masaajid is something relatively new, and often, even if a masjid has a ladies section, women aren't really encouraged or welcomed there. Younger children also aren't welcomed because they're seen to be a distraction during prayers.
I worry about this because as Muslims we have a responsibility to consider the spiritual development of our children. Our children are exposed to tons of influences (particularly the internet and social media) from the time they are babies. As a parent, I am extremely conscious about how I'm raising my children and about protecting them from negative influences, but I need community. My children (and I) need somewhere where the values we are inculcating at home are seen as the norm, where we have good company. Where we can develop spiritually as a family.
I could present to you well argued logical reasons as to why masjids should welcome women and children but instead I'm going to give you this, a story of my personal experience with taking my children to the masjid, and the impact it had on all of us.
I have four children, alhamdulillah, three sons and a daughter. For many years now (especially since becoming a mother) I have been acutely aware of the huge blessing it is for me to pray salah at home with full reward (men get more rewards for praying at the masjid, but women can pray at either place with the same reward). Leaving my house for salah is inconvenient and not particularly easy with multiple children.
However, three years ago my oldest son turned 9. When this happened, a panic set over me. He had started praying salah from the age of 7 but it struck me that as he was getting older and nearing the age of 10 (the age when children are meant to be reading all their prayers even though it is not compulsory yet), my son needed to develop an attachment to the masjid.
We don't live far from our local masjid. Unfortunately neither my husband nor any our male relatives who live close by were able to take my son to the masjid on a regular basis.
I realised, as a mother, that I owed a responsibility to my child. That on the Day of Judgement, God will ask ME what I did and didn't do in order to raise my child with love for Him, and what I did to develop my child's love for the masjid.
It struck me that I had the means to take my son to the masjid myself. So I decided I would put in the effort to go to the masjid for at least one salaah a day, so that my oldest could read his salaah there.
This may sound like a simple thing but I can assure you that at that time, for me, it was not. I was recovering from a difficult pregnancy and from sleep deprivation and exhaustion that made even the smallest tasks seem enormous. It was a decision that required much mental and physical energy and dedication.
Every day, about 30 to 40 minutes before the designated prayer time, I would pause whatever activities the children and I were engaged in at home (I homeschool my children, so they were mostly at home). I would make sure everyone was dressed appropriately for the weather, change my toddler's diaper, make sure that everyone had had a snack so that we wouldn't experience hunger meltdowns. (I would also plan our day so that nap time wouldn't conflict with this particular salaah time). I would ensure that wudhu had been made and everyone was clothed appropriately for salah. I would get myself ready. I would pack emergency diapers and clothes and extra snacks and then go about putting on shoes/jackets and strapping younger children into car seats.
When we got to the masjid I would unpack everyone again, huff and puff up the stairs with a heavy toddler on my hip while my oldest either joined us in the ladies section or found a male relative to read salah with in the men's section (eventually he became confident enough to go alone even without a relative present).
Before salah began I would take off shoes, jackets, double check my toddler's nappy, make sure that the ladies area was secured so that my toddler couldn't fall down the stairs or escape to the bathrooms while I joined the communal prayer. I would chat to my younger children about masjid etiquette, greeting others and most importantly about not disturbing others while salah was being performed (I can't say they behaved perfectly, but I consistently attempted to teach them consideration for others).
After salaah I would pack all the children up again and at home would unpack and begin the effort to get back into routine.
All this effort - for just one salaah!
These daily outings to the masjid were started as an effort to get my oldest to love the masjid, but we reaped rewards far greater than that.
What happened was that my younger children (my son and daughter) began to look forward to going to the masjid with extreme joy. They loved it when there were other ladies and children in the masjid for them to meet, but since the ladies section rarely got full, they also loved skipping up and down the small area and exploring the space. I was thrilled that they got to listen to live athaan, recitation of Quran and readings/speeches and that we all got to sit in the presence of the angels albeit for a short time.
I invited my friends in the area to bring their children (especially those with older sons) and join us for one salah daily. On the occasions that they managed to do so, my children were overjoyed to meet their friends, even if it was only for a short time. I was happy that they would experience the benefits of being in good company at the masjid.
The most unexpected impact of these efforts, however, was on myself.
I have so much spiritual work to do on myself, I'm far from the perfect Muslim, but I try. I pray and try to recite Quran daily. At the time I was also attempting online studies in Quranic Arabic, Fiqh and Hadith (it is hard to go out to study when you have young kids - and I have still yet to complete these subects!). Since I was putting in these efforts, I didn't think that being in the masjid would make much of a difference to ME on a spiritual level.
But on that first trip to the masjid, when I heard the live athaan and Quran recitation, my heart was so moved that I cried.
I also realised that being in the masjid made me much more cognisant of putting away my phone (the greatest distraction of all), as well as putting aside all the pressing concerns of the the house and motherhood that weigh on me constantly at home. I still had children running around me, climbing onto my back, but I was able to focus on my salah and on Allah swt in a way that I'm rarely able to do at home. I didn't anticipate the waves of peace that would wash over me as I sat in the masjid and listened to athaan and Quraan. Subhanallah.
I know that in Islam our homes are meant to be a safe haven for women and children, and alhamdulillah, I love being at home. However, the fitnahs (trials and temptations) that exist in this day and age invade the home and affect women and children as much as men- no home that has internet and cell phones is immune. Even though I try to be aware of my phone usage at home, I found that respect for the sanctity of the masjid compelled me to disconnect from the addictive apps on my phone that otherwise continously tempt me.
Despite the joys and benefits that my children and I experienced at the masjid, a subsequent pregnancy rendered me on bed rest so I was unable to continue our daily trips to the masjid (that's a story for another day).
Unfortunately, I'm still not in a season of life where I'm able to put in the gargantuan effort of getting all my children and myself ready for consistent salah at the masjid.
Having experienced the benefits though, I do hope to get back to the habit of daily masjid visits with my children inshallah, now with an extra child in tow. Our experience illustrated to me how when we take small steps towards Allah swt, He runs to us. Subhanallah.
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